I spent part of yesterday cleaning and doing laundry. Part organizing things. And... I spent most of the evening -- up until midnight, actually -- playing with my crafts.
I sorted through fabric and found remnants that had been sitting around. I'm making aprons. One for my mum, one for my best friend. Might make a third for the roommate, just so I can do one with a million ruffles, but we'll see how the first two go. The pieces are all cut out. I'll probably start on my mother's first. It's nice to use up some of the fabric I've had forever. The fabric for my friend's apron is actually something that I bought specifically with her in mind, but never found a project to use it with. That was several years ago. I'm such a hoarder!
I also started planning another beaded doll. She'll be a chakra doll, but I have to pick up some purple opaque seed beads. (Which is harder than it sounds. Why is it so tough to find purple?!) I brought supplies to work with me to start on a second doll, if I have time. Maybe during lunch. That one will be about two inches long. Teeny! I haven't decided on a design, but I brought a small selection of beads in my purse. Something will come to me.
What I really want to work on is a tree for D, but I've been having a hard time with it the last couple times I picked it up. Not that I am having trouble getting into it, but I think I am going to have to re-do some of the parts, and that's very discouraging. But... I'll get to it. It's important.
It's always (almost always) the same. Summer is social time. Winter is for crafting.
I love the flow of seasons around and through me. I love my life.
Yesterday, I ate waaayyyy too much. I usually wear my jeans with a belt, because I've lost weight, and they fall off. Said belt is now on the fourth notch, where-as it was on the first notch when it was purchased. (Hurrah for progress!) Yesterday, I put the belt on in the morning at it's usual 4th notch position. After "dinner," I had to re-buckle it. At the first notch.
I was a little scared to put slacks on today for work. So far, I've been standing, sitting, bending, and all with no ripped butt-seam. In fact, slacks are comfy. Hopefully this means the belt will go back to it's accustomed notch when next I don it.
My roommates put in an application at a new place. If it gets approved, they'll be putting in their 30-day notice. Which means I need to find a new place for myself. This is both a relief, and a huge stress.
I've looked at two apartments so far. I have more numbers to dial, more people to talk to, but it's pretty clear that my budget has me in the 'slightly above disreputable' range. They were livable, but not pretty.
Apartment one had a teeny tiny little bathroom with no tub, just a shower stall. (No baths? Sad!) It is a studio in what used to be a boarding house. Huge walk-in closet. Nice sized kitchen with a built in hutch. Small alcove at the very back providing semi-privacy for a bed. I sort of liked the charm of the building, even if it wasn't high-end elegant.
Apartment two had a teeny tiny little kitchen with half a stove. Nice sized bathroom, with a tub. One small little bedroom. The closet was small, but still twice the size of the one I'm using now. New windows and insulation. The parking situation seemed akward, with the little bitty lot, and no parking on the street.
I would lean toward the second, except it's all around more expensive. The rent is at the top of my budget. Also, at the first place the gas for the water heater & stove is paid for by the building, because of the way the place is wired. But a tub! Ohhhh, a tub...
BUT! It will be nice to have someplace all my own. No tripping over other people's shit. No need to wash dishes before using them. No loud children while I'm trying to sleep. I can have people over without getting strange looks from the roommates. I can decorate the rooms in my style. Even if it is only the main room and a bathroom.
We shall see what the remaining phone calls bring.
Alright. That last entry was a bit of a downer. The email I recieved just sort of broadsided me. I don't know why I even bothered to read it. I shouldn't have. I guess I thought he might be referring to himself in the subject line: "Questions of a Soulless Whore."
Thank you, K, for your words. Simple, but effective. You're right. I need to let it go, and not let anyone drag me back into that drama.
It's amazing how some mistakes will reach out of the depths and slap you across the face at random. Just when you think you're starting to get over it. Just when you think you've suffered enough, and the wounds can begin to scar.
I deserve it, I suppose.
I want to argue. I want to defend myself. I want to redeem myself. What's the point, though? It was done. It hurt people who were dear to me.
They may never recover. The friendships will certainly never heal.