I was reading along in a craft forum I enjoy, when I came across a relevant gem. By a dragonfly lady, no less.
"A very wise woman once told me to listen to what people say, as they are telling you who they are. So when someone puts you down, they are only telling you who they are, it has nothing to do with who you are, so do not take it personally." --Jo Dragonfly Woman
The timing of that particular posting could not have been more perfect. It was not written to me, but all the same, I feel that in some cosmic sort of way... It was.
When the dragonflies speak, I do my best to listen.
Believe it or not, I did try for your forgiveness. You simply weren't capable. And I can't blame you for that, because I'm not sure it was a forgivable act.
It's nice to know you paid enough attention to know what my insecurities are. Good job attacking every single one of them. Just know that, as I read it, all I see is how much you are hurting. The words don't scar me. And I don't think I could feel any worse about the act.
I'm healing, now. I hope you can, too.
It's gotta suck to be filled with that much poison. Bite at me as many times as you need. Empty all that crap out.
I've been quiet lately, I know. I just haven't had anything to say.
It snowed here. Enough that I wasn't comfortable driving anywhere. (Not that it takes much for me.) Two weeks with barely any outside contact. I'm at work today, and so glad to be here!
I miss my Daddy. With the snow, and the not driving, I haven't seen him in about a month now. Two weeks is too long. A month is driving me nuts. I mean that literally. When I haven't seen him for a while, I don't feel right. Foggy, sort of. Corny as it sounds, he is my sunshine.
Christmas/Yule was good, despite the snow and the lack of funds. Mr. N made out like a bandit. I heart my family tradition. We have Christmas morning with my mother. Coffee with Irish Cream. Gifties. Then breakfast croissants with bacon, eggs, cheese, all the good stuff. It's lovely every year, and I think if she ever stops for any reason, I will simply move the tradition to my own home, because it's too nice to give it up.
I didn't get to set up my own tree in my home this year. But I did set up my mini-tree at work, and I decorated D's tree with Mr. N, so I'm satisfied. I can't wait to have my tree! Maybe next year.
Still looking for an apartment. I am aching to have my own space. Even more than any other time in the last year. I hope it happens for me soon.
Thank you to all my friends who wished me well over the holidays. If I still don't have anything to say before then, Happy New Year to you.
There are all kinds of kitchy-cute signs out there with a little saying that I always hand bland feelings about. "Stressed spelled backwards is desserts," or some such silliness. True, but never funny.
Until today, that is. Man, I could really go for some desserts right now! Ice cream sounds especially good. Creme brulee. Something creamy, and rich, but with a sort of dusky undercurrent to cut the sweetness. I think that might just make this a tolerable day.
This morning I had projects piling up on my desk faster than I could prioritize them. Much less actually complete anything. I was looking forward to catching up on some filing. I love filing. But, sadly, it seemed that everything was going wrong for the other staff members, and I am the fix-it girl. Missing files, jammed copiers, etc. This afternoon was about the same. The filing will have to wait another day. As will a couple of other things deemed of a lower priority.
By noon -- which is only three hours into my day -- I was ready to be done. The end. Nap-time. Kaput.
I now have only two hours left before quitting time. It will be fast paced for about half of that. The other half, I intend to get some beading done.