Life is hard. Stress messes with me. Winter messes with me. Hormones mess with me. Relationships mess with me.
I want to cuddle, but I feel claustrophobic. I want to make love, but I'm not aroused. I want to worship, but I feel no reverence. I want to go out, but I don't want to see anyone. I want to be in nature, but nature is cold and damp and unfriendly. I want to talk to my friends, but I don't want to reveal anything.
We have problems. I admit this freely. Sometimes these problems seem overwhelmingly impossible. Sometimes so overwhelming that we both feel beat.
Other times, it's hard to remember that we do have problems.
I could list a dozen or more good things about you. You like to brush them off as "just how it is," but I think we both agree that while maybe it should be that way, it often isn't. I could list the things you do, or say, but that isn't why I stay. That's only how it started.
I stay because I know you. You're a good man. You are a match for me. In every way. When I'm not so crazed with emotion I can't think straight, I understand you. I know who you are on the inside, even when the outside frustrates me. I stay, because no matter how bad it gets, I know that without you is worse. You are my Mate.
No matter what the problem is, I have faith in our ability to get through it. I stay, because you never make me question your love. Because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to my children. You understand me. And when you don't understand me, when I don't make sense, you try anyway.
You are the only person I have ever felt safe being vulnerable with. The only one I have been able to be fully open to.
A few bumps in the road aren't enough to shake me off. Heck, a canyon wouldn't be enough.
I stay because the good always outweighs the bad. Your best always outweighs your worst.